Today my mom would have been 76 years old…it has been over three years since she passed away and yet not a day goes by that I don’t miss her. Today is especially hard. I still find myself seeing something she would like and have even found myself going up to the checkout with that item in hand planning to buy it for her and then I remember she is gone. I see her everyday when I look in the mirror, and when I see my beautiful daughters. I hear myself saying things that she said to me and it makes me smile and sad at the same time. She gave me so many things..the love of reading, the love of cooking for people, the love of gardening, the joy of thrifting and sewing, the need to be kind to people and so many other things that help make me who I am. She is that little voice in my head that tells me what to do. She loved her granddaughters so much that it makes me sad that she won’t be around to see them as adults living their own lives. I know she would be proud of them no matter what.
I wish she was here so I could tell her all the things I wish I had said or to share with her my life and just day to day things. I wish she was here to ask for advice or just to hear her voice once again. I miss her hugs, the way she smelt and just knowing she is around if I need her.
Does that feeling ever go away? Does it ever really sink in that she is really gone? Have you lost a parent or a loved one and how do you deal with the loss? I would love some advice because today is a teary sad day for me. Take care, Michele