People have asked me why I don’t post pictures of myself in my thrifted outfits. I will tell you why…I am extremely self-conscious about my Rosacea. I don’t like to be photographed and am afraid of the response I will get on the Internet of how my face looks. Just admitting that I have it to my readers is giving me a great deal of stress and anxiety. But I figured it was about time. Just a disclaimer, I know that Rosacea is not a life threatening disease, or physically debilitating, and but since it is on my face…the first thing people look at when they meet me, it is not a condition I can hide. It immediately affects people’s opinion of me in a negative way. And I get a lot of comments about my face….many more than I want and all negative in their effect on my self-esteem.
For those of you who don’t know what Rosacea is, I will share what I know:
- It is not contagious!!
- It is known as the curse of the Celts because it predominately affects fair-skinned people of Northern European descent.
- It is an inflammatory disease that has no known cause or cure, but many triggers such as hormones, diet, sunlight, exercise, stress, etc. So basically life!
- It is very damaging to your skin and your self-confidence.
When I was younger I had amazingly good skin…just an occasional pimple now and again, but nothing serious. When I started peri-menopause at 39, I developed a rash on my cheeks that was sore and had small little pimples in it. This continued off and on to the present day, with increasing severity and duration. I also end up with scaring cystic acne as a result of some of the break outs. It can appear for no apparent reason after a short period of clear skin in patches in just one area or all over. It is painful like a bad sunburn. I have tried many different over the counter and prescription medications and lotions and cleansers with varying success but the success never lasts.
The hardest part about Rosacea for me is the response I get from people. They ask me “what is wrong with your face”, or “oh, your poor face”, or “your face is really broken out”. I am sure that they don’t realize how damaging their comments are to my self-confidence or how much I cry from these comments. I hope that their comments are meant kindly, but their effects are very damaging to my confidence. I do what I can to try to hide my skin condition, with varying results, but it still always shows through. So now you know why I don’t put present day photographs of myself and am very selective about the photos I include from my past when my skin was in remission from the Rosacea.
Wow, this was one of the hardest posts I have ever written. I cried just writing it. I hope it educates people about what Rosacea is and how damaging comments seemingly innocuous comments about their skin, can be to a Rosacea sufferer or anyone who suffers from a skin condition they can’t hide. Do you have something that you are self-conscious about? Do you have Rosacea and have found something that works for it? I would love to hear from you. Cheers, Michele